


Rebuild

by izzydragon



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Post-Canon, Romance, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 01:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5271026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzydragon/pseuds/izzydragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can’t fix everything, but you can always rebuild.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rebuild

The rubble that remained was the only indicator that an entire town had once thrived in the pit that Arcadia Bay now lay within. The rubble, and the slow, deep sound of Chloe’s beat-up truck dragging itself somberly through a clearing among the ruins.

Max could feel the other girl stealing glances at her from the drivers seat, unsure and unsteady, but Max was unwilling to look at her. She feared the sight of the red rims around Chloe’s tired eyes, at the straining lines around that bright mouth, attempting to smile even though the strings holding her together might break at any moment.

They were all dead. Max knew this. She had hoped, but there was nothing left. Nothing left here.

 _‘Another great day in Arcadia Bay. Thank you-come again’_ read the sign they were fast approaching that signaled their exit from what once was home. Max felt the gear shift beneath her as Chloe slowed the truck to a halt, then a hand soft on her shoulder, trailing down her arm for a moment, causing her to turn to look at the other girl for the first time since they entered the vehicle.

It was as she feared; Chloe was ragged, her blue hair in disarray, the remnants of whatever makeup she was wearing was a dark stain beneath her eyes, which were tinged red and bloodshot. She looked older. She looked tired. To the bone, _tired._

But amongst all that, she smiled. A wavering, watery thing. But it was a smile, and it was like looking through a thicket of trees and seeing the sunlight poking through from a clearing far, far on the other side. Max couldn’t help but shift in her seat, her body gravitating towards the other girl as it always seemed to do, the ghost of a reciprocal smile touching her lips in response. They both knew that it wasn’t okay, that they weren’t okay. But maybe someday. And they had each other, which was all they had to hold onto right now. All they had, in general.

\--------------------------------

As night fell and they drove towards Oregon in the rain, through a small town who’s orange lights reflected a cityscape atop the wet pavement, Max vacantly wondered if in the choice she’d made, that she’d somehow condemned Chloe to a life forced to be with her, but she hadn’t the energy to dwell on that right now, she barely had the energy to think at all.

“Time to find a place to lay our heads, rock star,” said Chloe, startling Max from her reverie. Her voice was thin and scratchy, but firm, “the money I stashed in here for a rainy day should be able to just about get us a room and some grub.”

Max nodded at her, blinking away the fog in her brain as they turned into a small parking lot, the ‘M’ in the ‘Motel’ sign brightly flashing overhead where one of the letters was obviously about to give in and blow. It reflected a lightshow onto the pavement as she watched Chloe exit the car and step directly over it.

Max moved to exit the car and follow Chloe inside of the small, dull yellow building on instinct. She wasn’t tired, wasn’t hungry, she wasn’t even particularly cold, though she distantly acknowledged that the air around her was tight and dry with chill. She counted the cracks in the tiles beneath her feet quietly under her breath as the blue haired girl talked to the receptionist briefly, obtaining a key at the end of the exchange.

A sharp pain on the back of her left hand. She looked down; three of the nails from her other hand had dug into the skin deeply where she was clutching at it; beads of blood welled to the surface, a striking ruby against the pale skin on her hand. She quickly pulled her sleeve down so that Chloe wouldn’t see.

“Max?” 

Max looked up.

“I got us a room.”

She nodded absently; only remembering to move once Chloe had wrapped an arm around her shoulders to guide her to the room they would be staying in. The other girl only let her go in order to unlock the door, and after that task was complete, she was back at Max’s side, leading her into the room by her arm, guiding her to sit down on the edge of the double bed.

“I’m gonna go get some food, okay? You stay right here Max. I’ll be right back.” Chloe’s voice was far away, and Max didn’t even notice the moment when she exited the room, shutting the door lightly behind her. Everything was happening as if she was in a glass tank full of water and the real world was going on outside of it.

She numbly crawled upwards on the bed, toeing her shoes off as she climbed underneath the thin covers, and closed her eyes for just a moment. Just a moment.

The next time Max opened her eyes, she was met with the sight of warm, new morning light emanating from between the curtains illuminating the blue hair on the pillow next to her. She could feel the warmth from the other body beneath the covers, and as Chloe turned her head toward the other girl in her sleep, Max shifted ever so slightly forwards. Not quite touching, not quite too close. Just sharing space, sharing presence. It was comforting, though it wasn’t enough. She felt too close, but not close enough. Too wonderfully aware of the body next to her. Max wanted to reach out, wanted to shift her head the few extra centimeters it would take for their foreheads to touch. But she didn’t. Couldn’t. Not now. 

Instead she stole quick glances at the familiar face before her: the steady slope of her nose, the relaxed curve of her top lip, her light eyelashes down to the angle of her jaw up to where it disappeared beneath her hair. She imagined Chloe opening her eyes, she imagined seeing her light eyes looking back with the same adoration. She imagined moving closer, she imagined moving closer, closer, closer. - 

It was a far thought away from the trauma of the day before, but the familiarity of it was relaxing, in a particularly strange way. Looking at Chloe’s face, she felt warmth, she felt whole. Max wondered if Chloe ever looked at her this way. 

Chloe sniffed in her sleep, and turned the other way, her back now facing Max. The brunette felt cold. 

\--------------------------------

It was well past noon when Max next awoke, and Chloe was no longer in the bed beside her, and was instead sat at the small table that was in front of the foot of the bed, sitting so that her back was facing Max.

Taking in her surroundings for the first time in a way she was unable to last night, she noticed the musk in the air, the dull, cracked beige walls, and some torn remnants of where wallpaper probably coated them.

She noticed the plastic bags full of snack food, untouched, lying on the ground, and as she trailed her eyes back over to where Chloe was sat, and she noticed the sharp, shuddery shaking of her shoulders.

Shit, okay.

Max sat up quietly, moving to exit the bed with soft, steady motions. Her socked feet trailed lightly across the worn carpet as she approached Chloe as if she were herself a brewing storm, and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Chloe…” Max intoned, her voice scratchy with disuse. Chloe startled and quickly glanced back towards her. Shit, she looked terrible.

“Ah, fuck,” the blue haired girl attempted to wipe at her face, which was incredibly useless at this point considering the very obvious redness liberally coating her nose, eyes, ears and cheeks. Blood raised to the surface, blooming. “I, uh, didn’t know you were awake,” she chuckled shakily, pulling her face into a mocking farcical of what might have been a smile at one point in it’s conception. Her movements were jittery and quick as she scooted back the chair she was sitting on and rose to move towards the forgotten plastic bags at the side of the bed, brushing past Max without a single glance at her on the way there.

“Chloe, I –“

“I know you don’t like spicy chips, but they had them on sale two for one so I figured that beggars can’t be choosers, right? They’re probably not too spicy anyway.”

“Chloe-”

“ – oh, also, I wasn’t sure if to get soda or juice, so I got both, but I only got one of each so we can either half both of them or you can take one if you’re okay with only having one of them,” she sifted through the bags loudly and continuously.

 _“Chloe!”_ Max yelled, desperately.

Chloe stopped what she was doing immediately, her shoulders slumping, Max could hear her mumble something that sounded suspiciously like, ‘fine, I’ll take the juice then’, but the brunette chose to ignore this.

Max took a few cautious steps towards her; her legs still feeling shaky from the mixture of no food and all of the shock from yesterday’s events. 

“Talk to me,” she swallowed, but that only resulted in her dehydrated throat sticking together for an unpleasant second, “please,” she tried.

All that received in return was a sharp exhale of breath from the other girl, followed by a shaky inhale and the obvious clenching of her fists where they rest upon her knees, crouched by the plastic bags full of food, the yellow smiley faces on the side of them seeming mocking at that particular moment in time.

“You want me to talk to you?”

“Y-yeah.”

“What would you like me to say, Max?” Chloe stood up sharply, violently, a rush of anger and emotion all at once in her angry, splotchy face as it moved towards the smaller girl with vehemence, “you want me to say thank you for making me personally responsible for the death of not only my entire family, but the families of every single person who lived in Arcadia Bay?!”

Max’s throat got even dryer.

Chloe seemed to catch herself for a moment. “Shit, that was wrong, shit. Sorry.” She took a shuddery breath, “I don’t think I need to explain why I’m not okay right now, Max. I’m not sure if I will be okay. I don’t fucking know how to say all of this, you know I’m no good with these kind of words.

“You made a choice, I would have done the same thing in your place, and I know this. But – shit - that doesn’t make it any goddamn easier, you know?” The end of her sentence was accented by a tell tale wobble in her voice, but no tears came. Max thought distantly that perhaps she’d used them all up already, “there’s nothing either of us can say that will make this any better, ever. I-I wish-” 

Chloe took a breath, bit her bottom lip and looked to the ceiling.

“I wish…”

“You wish?”

The other girl looked back at Max, as if she’d momentarily forgotten that she was there.

“Nothing, Max.” She once again crouched down to pick up the plastic bags and move them towards the table, her movements a lot more sluggish than before. Max wasn’t sure which mood she preferred. “Let’s eat, okay?”

The rest of the day was filled with jarring silences and an uncomfortable hyperawareness that was unfamiliar to Max, they ate in silence, showered in silence, getting into some basic clothes from the charity shop a few blocks down from the motel that Chloe had also picked up the night before. Max kept expecting to see a blood splatter every time she glanced at the grubby window to the right of the bed, but there were only ever grease marks from the people who had festered within that room before them.

The girls collectively decided to spend one more night at the motel. Chloe was in no shape to drive, and Max constantly felt like she might break. When she walked into the bathroom and saw that Chloe had covered the small, scratched up mirror with a hand towel, she made no motion to remove it.

\----------------------------

Sleeping was a lot harder tonight, and as Max turned to face Chloe in the bed, she shut her eyes tighter, trying desperately to shut down the thoughts in her head. She wanted silence, wanted fucking peace.

“Max…”

The girl in question startled slightly at this, but kept her eyes shut. Was Chloe talking in her sleep?

“I wish, Max. I wish…”

She felt a light touch trail over the hair resting atop her left ear, brushing it back in a motion so soft that she would have not noticed had she been asleep, which it appeared the other girl thought she, in fact, was.

What did Chloe wish? Max wondered, but the thought drifted her into the plane of sleep, and from then, she was gone.

\--------------------------------

The next morning was a dull one, dark enough for Max to notice upon exiting the motel that the ‘M’ in the sign above Chloe’s truck had finally given up, now subsequently reading ‘otel’.

Chloe had entered the address of Max’s parents into the Google Maps application on her phone and handed it to the other girl to give her directions along the way. She knew that the blue haired girl could probably navigate on her own, but she appreciated being given something to do, and to think about.

They drove like this until Chloe’s phone battery finally died, and after that came only silence. Neither mentioned that Chloe didn’t need the phone to tell her how to get there in the first place.

Silence was heavy as the sun set, casting its pink hues across the long road they were currently on. It felt like the end of the world, spiralling down with the winding of the road into the edge of existence.

Max’s eyes were gritty and heavy from lack of sleep, but wakefulness pulled at her at ever moment she thought she might finally gain a reprieve. She rubbed them until they were probably red and her eyelids felt rough and bruised, glancing quickly at Chloe, whose gaze was steady on the road in front of them. She felt open and raw, felt like her insides were being exposed in front of her. They felt like an offering, a sacrifice.

“I understand if you hate me.”

Chloe didn’t look at her, “I know.”

“But…my heart might break if you did.”

“I know.”

\------------------------------

They pulled to the side of a grassy road only when night became too stifling and sleep was dragging them down too far to be able to function. Neither spoke of one of them sleeping in the back, instead they curled up on the front seat, leaning their heads against opposite sides of the truck, sharing a blanket.

Max’s thoughts kept her awake as they had the night before, but curiosity played a factor this time. She heard Chloe sigh and turn towards her.

“I wish…”

_Yes?_

“I wish you had let me die, Max. Fuck.”

Oh.

Max didn’t sleep that night.

\--------------------------------  
At this point they were only about 20 miles away from Max’s parent’s house in Oregon, but the distance between the two of them only felt like it grew every day. It felt like oceans.

Chloe had cracked a joke about a rather bulbous cloud looking like a penis earlier, so that was progress, Max supposed. But it still felt forced. The brunette still had something to say, what she had heard the other girl say last night couldn’t go unchecked.

“Hey, Chloe, you know how I said that my heart might break if you hated me?” Max ventured, hesitantly. It was her turn driving at that moment.

Chloe fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “Yeah, you big sap, I remember. Why?”

She licked her lips and took a breath, looking up into the bluest part of the sky for a moment before looking back at the road. “Well, my heart would break if you hated yourself for this as well, okay?”

Max could see Chloe still from the corner of her eye.

“I can’t fix this. You can’t fix people.” She shifted her sweaty grip on the wheel, “But we can, I don’t know, rebuild. Remake.”

Shit, she felt like an idiot, this wasn’t helping at all.

Chloe’s voice snapped her out of the thought. “Pull over.”

“W-Why?”

“Just-” the blue haired girl took a breath, “just do it, please.” Max obeyed.

They came to a stop on the curb of the residential road they were driving along, next to a tree that looked freshly planted. Once Max had put the handbrake on, Chloe turned to her with a determined look in her eye, and Max shifted to face her out of curiosity and slight worry.

“Do you remember when I dared you to kiss me?” Chloe’s voice was firm, steady.

Max blushed at the memory, “Chloe, I don’t-”

“Answer the question, please.”

“Yes, I remember, of course.” It had only been a few days ago after all, even thought it felt like a lifetime.

“I didn’t do that because I wanted to test you, o-or because I wanted to make you uncomfortable,” the look on her face was visibly conflicted, “I wanted you to do it Max. Deep down, I wanted you to do it. I didn’t know until on the surface until it happened, but I always knew, you know? Fuck, this probably doesn’t make any sense.

I don’t generally kiss my friends on the mouth, Max. But that’s not the point, okay, fuck. Okay – the point is, that you don’t need to do this; you don’t need to fix anything. Not me, not a whole fucking goddamn town. You just need to be.” She took a shuddery breath, “I need you, Max, and I so badly want to – to rebuild with you, or whatever, but – I just don’t – ah, fuck this”

A gentle hand on the back of Max’s head, then soft lips on hers.

Max froze, and then she melted. Pushing back against the other girl hard, feeling her teeth through their lips. They broke apart and came together again and again, dry at first, then their lips slotted together as if they were made that way, and after that, it was all licking lips and noses pressed against cheeks and hands on jaws and tangled in hair.

The brunette broke off briefly with a smile, wetting her lips. “I thought that you ‘don’t generally kiss your friends on the mouth?’”

Chloe chuckled, and licked at her own lips.

“Only the lucky ones,” she said with an exaggerated wink.

Max laughed for what felt like the first time in decades, it was quiet and brief, but it was still there.

As they rested there for the moment, neither one of them made any indication that they wanted to continue driving right now, they were just content in the front seat of Chloe’s car, Max’s head resting against the chest of the other girl.

One day they would be okay, Max thought. Not right now, maybe not for a while, and that was perfectly okay. You can’t fix everything, but you can always rebuild.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
